Nuances and subtleties

 

Even after they’ve spent many years in France, there’s a specific situation where American expats often are taken aback: no matter how well they speak the language, when it comes to writing letters there’s a very awkward moment: What is the right formula to conclude a letter?

Can’t the French be as straightforward and efficient-minded as Americans? “Yours,” “Sincerely” and “Best” (when they feel like getting very personal…) and that’s it. No need to wallow into endless, hypocritical formulas. In the end, what’s the meaning of all these “Veuillez croire, Madame, à l’expression de ma respectueuse consideration,” or “Je vous prie, Monsieur, de recevoir l’assurance de mes sincères remerciements” or “Daignez agréer, Madame, mes respectueux hommages »” etc. 

What a waste of time!

And to make things even trickier, these hackneyed formulas vary according to the person you’re writing to. Whether it’s a man to a woman or conversely, an employee to the manager or the latter to the former, a lawyer or a physician, a younger person or an older one. There’s just no ready-made formula. The context also makes much difference. It may be a letter where you solicit something or where you want to express your displeasure. There are just as many formulas as they are potential recipients.

Now, there’s a way to know: The letters Americans receive from the French always end up with one of these formulas.

But why oh why all these outdated lines that seem to date back to the 18th century? (Well, actually, they were in use well before that). All these nuances, all these subtleties, do they really mean anything?

For the French, receiving a letter that would bear “yours”, “greetings” or “sincerely” as a conclusion would be as shocking and brutal as a kick in the bottom. Even when receiving some unpleasant letter from an attorney or the tax office, it invariably ends with “Recevez, Monsieur, Madame, mes salutations distinguées” or something to that effect. Even when the letter tells them to leave their apartment within a couple of days!

Believe it or not, a prisoner behind bars, should he receive a letter from the jail manager, expects the letter to contain a delicate politeness formula. He would feel offended if it weren’t the case

These formulas may look outdated and frivolous and yet, don’t they make the sort of little difference that sometimes makes everyday life a little more courteous?

Now, will you please be kind enough and let me know what your take on the matter is? I can assure you of my total and most sincere interest regarding your forthcoming comments. I beg you to accept my respectful greetings.

Note: The painting is a composition by Kandinsky.