An American promenade in Paris

In the wake of the anti-French campaign launched by the American media in the last three years, four true American patriots were in Paris last July, wanting to check by themselves how deeply anti-American the French really are. As they leave their hotel on the Place des Etats-Unis (16th District), not far away from the Avenue de New-York*, let’s go along with them on a little stroll throughout the City of Lights. 

The first one, an artist, first went through the Rue Edgar Poe (19th), the Rue Edgar Varese (19th), then headed south to the Rue George Gershwin (12th), the Place Louis Armstrong (13th), the Place Léonard Bernstein in front of the French Cinémathèque built by architect R.F. Gehry (12th) and ended up Rue Ernest Hemingway (15th) not far from the Place Joséphine Baker (14th). Tired after such a long stroll, he sat down at a café, where he ordered a drink with plenty of ice but ended up with 2 minuscule ice cubes at the bottom of his glass. ”Probably because I’m American,” he thought! 

The second, a war veteran and native of Austin, Texas, had heard that the embassy of the Independent Republic of Texas once had its own place in Paris. So he asked passer-bys if they knew where the embassy had been. To no avail, as none of them even made any effort to understand English. He eventually spotted a tiny plaque carved in the wall but couldn’t decipher it since it was written in French. Couldn’t they have made the effort to write in English? He thought, I mean that was our embassy! So after he left the Square Yorktown (16th), he went Place du Général Patton (16th), and continued on Avenue du Général Eisenhower (8th) and eventually ended up Boulevard Pershing (17th).

The third one, a science student, after attending mass at the American Cathedral in Paris (8th), went straight to the Rue Benjamin Franklin (16th) and from there to the Rue Fulton, the Rue G. Eastman and the Avenue Edison (all three in the 13th). There, he decided to take the Metro back to his hotel. Until he found out that the station manager simply refused to accept his dollars or even his American Express card. A sight caught his attention as the metro was passing over the Seine. It is fair to say there was a moment when he thought the French weren’t that bad if they so much admire the Lady Liberty statue that they copied it. But, why is theirs so ridiculously small?

The fourth one, a Baton Rouge, Louisiana, native wanted to see the Rue named after his home state, Rue de la Louisiane (18th). After crossing the Rue Lincoln (8th), the Rue Washington (8th), the Avenue du Président Wilson (16th), the Avenue du Président Kennedy (16th) and the Avenue F.D. Roosevelt (8th) nearby the metro station named after the 32nd American president, he felt sourly disappointed that only six American presidents had been honored by the ungrateful French. Too bad this Parisian visit took place the last week of July; he didn’t know that on the 4th of this very month a statue of Jefferson had been inaugurated on the bank of the river Seine in front of the Musée d’Orsay. That would have made seven…

This is when he picked up a newspaper and found out that the Tour de France had just disqualified its American winner Floyd Landis, under the pretext that he had tested positive for doping.

Our four red-blooded Americans then had enough evidence to be definitely convinced of the ingratitude of these people toward the generous country who gave France so many opportunities to honour Paris with American names. 

The French! So anti-American!

* Situated along the Seine, facing the Eiffel tower. Talk of a location! 

Note 1: Needless to say, this American stroll is to take cum grano salis…

Note 2: The picture is “The Boating Party” by Mary Cassatt (1893-94; Oil on canvas, National Gallery of Art, Washington). Mary Cassatt, a prominent American painter, spent most of her life in Paris.